From Discovery to Healing
How can you compassionately support a friend who is experiencing the pain of their spouse’s pornography addiction? When you are in a position to encourage and give counsel, what is important to understand in this critical situation? Become prepared to respond with love and understanding in this panel discussion with women recovering from their partner’s pornography use.
This presentation was given at the UCAP Stronger Together Conference in St. George, UT in September 2015.
Amy Cluff is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and has been serving Southern Utah in social work capacities since 1999. Amy received her Master of Social Work degree from the University of Utah in 2004. She is a member of the National Association of Social Workers, Association for Play Therapy, and the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists. She is an affiliate therapist for LifeSTAR of St. George, a program for pornography and sexual addiction recovery.
Amy specializes in therapy for women, children, and families. She is licensed to provide assessment, diagnosis, and treatment for most mental health disorders. Her training is in mood disorders, anxiety, trauma, attachment and relationship therapy, attention and impulse control, blended family, co-parenting, and divorce issues. She also specializes in working with partners and family members of addicts.
She and her husband are raising two wonderful children, and her family is her greatest joy. She enjoys the outdoors, reading, yoga, and exercise.
I have 3 young children and an adorable husband. We live in Dallas, TX. Every day I remind myself I’m living my “happily ever after” and I’m grateful my husband decided to join me. When I met my husband I was instantly attracted to his loving, calm personality. We fell in love quickly and got married. I thought I was about to live my “happily ever after.” When he returned to addiction a year after we married, I was devastated. So much for my “happily ever after.” As he continued down the path of addiction time and time again, I felt divorce was the only option. I just wanted out of the heart ache. God had a different idea and kept encouraging me to stay in the marriage. God was guiding me the whole way, even when I felt alone. He sent people to help me find peace regardless of what my husband was doing. I witnessed God’s power and saw unbelievable miracles in the most hopeless situations. I want each person who is closely involved with an addict to know there is so much hope!
Shaeli Ellis lives in Henderson, NV with her husband of almost 9 years and their two young children. Before being blessed as a full time mom, Shaeli was a commercial interior designer and taught interior design at LDS Business College. She enjoys cooking, photography, sewing, reading, traveling, spending time with family, and can often be found playing card or board games with anyone who is up for some friendly competition.
Not long after being married, my relationship with my husband was under attack by a faceless enemy. This enemy would come and go, almost undetectable at times, but the path of destruction it left in its wake was undeniable. I wouldn’t know for another 4 years that this enemy had a name: pornography addiction. Neither my husband nor I were willing to accept defeat, so we worked hard, harder than we knew we were even capable of. Today we walk the path of recovery together, hopeful that the knowledge gained from our experience can strengthen those in their own battles and shine a light on this war that threatens society today.